Recently, at my coach approach training we were discussing what it means to have a stuck client, particularly one who has ADHD.
Stuckness can look different in ADHD.
When we get stuck, it stops our executive function.
A decision for us can be like a train on the tracks with faulty signal lights and too many track options.
Straight ahead? Left? Right?
Red light? Green light?
STOP
We're stuck, maybe overwhelmed, and that makes us stressed.
Then our stress kicks that little lizard brain portion, the amygdala, in to high gear.
Fight, flight, freeze, fawn.
For me, stuckness usually shows up as freeze.
My brain can't compute.
The lizard brain shuts down our prefrontal cortex.
Have you ever been behind a halted train on the tracks?
It blocks everything.
When that stress shows up, we really have to watch how we speak to ourselves.
Because it's easy to fly to the negative.
And there's where "I have to" comes in.
This dang chore.
I don't WANT to do it.
But I HAVE to do it.
ARGH
But is it a chore?
Or are we lucky enough to be able to do it?
Do we HAVE to do it?
Or do we GET to do it?
About a decade ago, a life coach tried to get this through my strong headed skull, but I wasn't ready to listen.
Ultimately life decided that lesson for me.
Cancer, really chemo, was the ultimate teacher.
During chemo you feel so crappy (steroid highs followed by the energy crash as the chemo destroys everything in its path - good, bad, indifferent) that you’re happy for anything you GET to do.
My thoughts sounded something like this -
Used to be, I had to exercise.
I don't have to exercise. But I get to take a walk today because my legs are feeling pretty strong.
I don’t have to do laundry. But today I get to do laundry because I’m not feeling too wiped out from the chemo.
Fortunately, at the time we had a front loader. I’d put a towel on the floor, sit there while I moved loads from washer to dryer. I’d fold the clothes on the towel on the floor.
I don't have to send an email out to the potential client.
But I'm not on a distracted steroid high today, so I can focus on choosing just the right words. No easy feat with chemo brain. LOL!
You get the idea.
I say this not to garner sympathy.
After all, I get to live in a time where I get to survive cancer.
A situation that was unthinkable even 30 years ago.
I likely wouldn’t have been to diagnosed as early as stage 1, because the technology wasn't as good.
And of course, the treatments were far more brutal.
Everything shifted for me when I stop saying I have to and I started saying I get to.
With my clients, they GET to come to productivity power hour.
It's not a requirement.
They get a non-judgmental safe space where they can work on the things that they’re stuck on.
The tasks that are onerous or in ADHD world boooooring.
We NEVER want to do the boring tasks.
We want to CREATE things.
Or chase bright shiny new objects.
Bright! Shiny! New!
For my clients, those boring tasks are
Getting the taxes done.
Clearing out a file cabinet that has some really tough medical memories in it.
Designing and translating yet another client's brochure in a month that has been nothing but brochures.
My clients know they don’t have to come to productivity power hours.
That’s completely optional.
But what they find is they WANT to be there.
So, they show up for themselves again and again.
They get to be who they’re becoming.
Are you ready to show up for yourself?
Fill up the Productivity Breakthrough Form below.
