When we think of boundaries, we usually jump straight to ways to keep others from doing allthethings that drive us crazy.
But boundaries start with us.
They are physical, mental and emotional fences we construct to ensure our safety.
Boundaries are an important first step to improving your mental health.
They can help you with your own behavior.
Think of them as mini rules you follow.
Instead of snarfing fries, you eat a salad.
Instead of surfing the internet on the sofa all day, you take a brisk walk around the block.
Instead of staying up to watch one more show, you go to bed so getting up tomorrow is easier.
Instead of purchasing the expensive new purse, you put the money towards that vacation you’ve been planning.
Instead of answering that work email on the weekend, you turn off your phone and hang out with your kids.
Those are some of my personal boundaries - ones I made for myself to help manage my ADHD.
If you’re making changes and creating new limits for yourself, only choose one or two at a time.
It takes a LOT for an ADHD person to shift a habit!
Give yourself grace and know that even if you didn't go to the gym today, you can go tomorrow.
My client Mandy has a job that starts super early in the morning.
She would rush around unloading the dishwasher, making everyone's lunch, doing allthethings.
She was burned out. And there was never any time left over for her spiritual practice.
She could only really focus on that on her days off. It wasn't enough.
Mandy was stuck in all or nothing thinking - no judgement. We've all been there and done that!
Working together, we made space for Mandy to imagine a different kind of morning. Then she discussed it with her family, and everyone was on board!
She created a spiritual "basket" filled with the usual things that she loves to do in her morning practice - cards, meditation CD, journal... She chooses one item in the early morning and does that one thing BEFORE she unloads the dishwasher etc.
Mandy starts her day for herself. She replenishes her well before she starts giving her energy to her family, her work etc.
That is boundaries and restorative practice in action. You need to refill your cup (basket) every day.
Change one small habit, like Mandy did with her morning routine, at a time.
Changing everything all at once is a recipe for disaster. You'll just get frustrated.
